Archive for sadness

It has been a long time

Posted in introspective, Life, lost, Mind - Psychology, Personal, Reads, Society, This May Help U!, Thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , on February 18, 2017 by vixstar1314

I am aware that I have not blogged for several months. I am not sure why this is. I still have lots of feelings and thoughts embedded within me, and still require it to be unloaded. However I may have been trying to not process my thoughts as much as I have use to. Whether that has done me good or not I cannot say for sure.

Anyways I was on the bus recently and I thought of you, my blog. The trigger was from thinking of my past and the super tough time I had gone through many many years ago and how that part of me was still placed somewhere within this blog.

I guess this post is more of a self-reflection post.

Several years ago there was a very long period of time, almost a year when I had fallen extremely deep into a black hole. This was mainly due to someone, but it wasn’t helped with the situations and confusion that I felt during that point in my life. Also because of the way I am and how often I feel more darkness than most so this spiral much further than it should had. Whereby I was left extremely unsure if I could or even wanted to come back up from it. It got to a stage when I had been in it for so long that I started to believe this was the norm and I should just give up on trying.

I must admit I still find myself daily feeling a very strong dark bubble around me, at times like I am struggling to breathe. I don’t believe I have actually tried to put it in words before as such. Well lets just say I get a lot of negative thoughts and that most days I struggle to pull myself out of bed. The thought of it makes me rather sad. However the bad thing is, I know that my life isn’t terrible and nothing is specifically wrong so I should be alright, yet I am not and that baffles me, but I can’t help but feel a sense of sadness within me that I cannot quite explain to myself or others. But over time I have learnt to manage it as well as I could. However every month or so I do burn out and break down. I somehow release the emotions and the cycle begins again.

It isn’t anywhere as bad as it use to be but now I know I can never get rid of it. It is a part of my life.

I believe I have now found a name for it and realised it exists elsewhere aside from within my mind and body. It is High function depression.

Reading this article  on huffington post gave me clarity and made me feek less alone and abnormal. From gaining a better understanding of it I have been able to feel like a weight has lifted from my shoulders.

 

What I count as a form of very sad moments in life…

Posted in introspective, Life, lost, Personal, Society, This May Help U!, Thoughts, Time with tags , , , , , , , on October 30, 2015 by vixstar1314

….When love isn’t enough – when two people deeply love each other but the force of something or someone else is strong enough to cause them to part even though they both know they love each other, that is one of the saddest situations to be in. For every commitment, change or choice one makes they forgo another aspect in their life. Sometimes without even realising they are doing it. Worse is when they have their priorities wrong and not even knowing it themselves, until they look back and realise…but then it is already too late, it has passed by…becoming regrets.

Even though it is said love is the greatest power, because people die for love. It is unexplainable feelings which defy logic and reasoning at times.

Short burst of adrenaline love or long-enduring true meaningful one? I personally would go with the latter.

Another sad irony has to be when what originally bought two people together, is in the end what also tears and separates them. Leading to them going their separate ways. That is one of the most sad and tragic irony of life and love….

Much needed encouragement

Posted in Creativity, Event, introspective, Life, Personal, This May Help U!, Time, Travelling with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 28, 2013 by vixstar1314

Words of encouragement for you, for me, for the audience.

These are much-needed encouragement.

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When you feel a very dark force pulling you down, remember there is always an upward force. Be that God, hope, belief, dreams, passion, future…There is something.

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Far too often we cannot help but over-think, which can be useful at times to re-collect thoughts. However it is also this that causes the brain to worry about so much more that may not truly exist.

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When we are in life, a lot of the time, everyone around us seems to be moving very fast. Blinding us whilst they speed pass. This interrupts us, causing us to follow their movement. Which in turn makes us forget about our own life. 

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This massive world, far too often doesn’t seem to make sense or seem like it can ever be grasped.

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However rest assure it is solid therefore if you keep going, you will come closer to something….

 

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Rock Bottom

Posted in Creativity, introspective, Life, Personal, This May Help U!, Thoughts, Time with tags , , , , , on October 13, 2011 by vixstar1314

Dear All that may be struggling,

Remember you are are not the only one and you are not alone.

Albert Einstein – Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.

Even if you hit rock bottom the only way remaining is to keep moving and go back up.

Love from,

Someone that understands.

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