Archive for peace

RIP Chester Bennington may you find peace in the beyond

Posted in Creativity, Event, Life, lost, Lyrics, Mind - Psychology, Music, Personal, Society, Songs, soundtrack, This May Help U!, Thoughts, Time with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 22, 2017 by vixstar1314

Mental health illness of depression and suicide are real things.
It is scary because they are demons others can’t truly hear or see. But for the people who suffer from it, it’s rather constant because the thoughts are always there. It’s so difficult to be able to shut them out and escape.depression.jpg

Over the years these have gotten worse and more and more people suffer from it. On some levels the awareness is being bought to more people’s attention.
Just a few days ago the suicide of : Chester Bennington rocked the world as a whole. Linkin Park’s music had save millions and for Chester it saved him for two decades as well but finally the pain within got too much.

Chester B.jpg

Imagine for him to sing these lyrics that he wrote, must have both been a way of releasing it from inside but also from seeing his eyes during live performances you would notice it was quite painful to associate these words to his past and memories. Music was definitely a hemisphere where he would go to escape and to express so much inside that he had built up.

From the words in many of the songs it clearly depicts his life journey, thoughts, darkness, happiness and emotions. So much power in these words alone. Let alone what was actually going on inside his heart and mind must have been a billion times more.

To have to result to taking that final step of taking his own life after experiencing the outcome of what happened when his friend Chris Cornell took his life and knowing the impact of it all and how hurt and hard it was on his family, friends and fans. Meant he really couldn’t take it anymore.
Suicide is never so clear-cut, you cannot blame the person who did it and you definitely feel so sorry for those they leave behind.

The very scary thing is, from experience I think a lot of people who have or are going through deep depression know that deep deep down they have locked a specific demon away as hard as they can. The demon that whispers to them to end it all. This is one of the hardest thing to do because it continues to fight so often to try to come out.
When I hear the lyrics from Linkin Park’s Leave out all the rest:

“When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I’ve done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
And don’t resent me
And when you’re feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest”

I feel like something inside of Chester knew one day if it happened when that demon manages to come out and he cannot take it anymore these words are to all those he loved and cared about to ask for their forgiveness but also giving them the power to continue on without him. Hence why this song is one of my favourite from them because these words are something that echo more than just simple words but stringing it all together provides an explanation on some level.

I truly hope all those gentle souls who were unable to find peace in this world can in the beyond.



Where are my?

Posted in introspective, Life, lost, Thoughts with tags , , , , , on July 27, 2015 by vixstar1314

I am here on Earth, but I often question where are my? My mind and presence here at times seemed so incomplete and scattered. I don’t feel like I belong. The place I feel most completed at this current point in time is in my own mind, where I have created an ideal world, my own utopia – where I have found a sense of peace. Unfortunately it doesn’t last, as the noise from the outer world disturbs it and I am pulled back to the cruel reality. I wonder whether I will ever feel completed or “right” in this world. If I do, I shall let you know. I wish and pray I will, but I guess only time will reveal it. So far I have felt like this for as long as I can remember thus, far too long….

Poppies – Lest We Forget

Posted in Event, Thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , on November 10, 2013 by vixstar1314


Lest We Forget – means not to forget the past and the sacrifices that were made, allowing us what we have today.

Remember those that had fallen.


“Poppies have long been used as a symbol of sleep, peace, and death: Sleep because of the opium extracted from them, and death because of the common blood-red color of the red poppy in particular. In Greek and Roman myths, poppies were used as offerings to the dead.” – (


In remembrance we stand and stay united.

In a shell

Posted in Creativity, Event, introspective, Life, Personal, Thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on August 17, 2013 by vixstar1314

Even though the world is massive, far too often I feel like I am stuck in a



There are so many things I can’t say. I don’t know how to move out and


I came across a quote that was so true, but at the same time the complete truth in it made me feel like I was


[Audrey Hepburn] “I’m an introvert. Playing the extroverted girl was the hardest thing I ever did.” – to me the second part I have been unable to do, yet being the first part has caused me to be unhappy beyond words.


Yet I am trying to work out how to adapt or fix it all, or even just come to terms with accepting it all, but it is not an easy process. Each time I get some answers, it seems that waves would hit me again. I lay here hoping to be swept into peace. Everything seems to be within touching distance but

reality depicts that they are all so far away.inner_shell

I will somehow keep trying.





Posted in Creativity, Event, introspective, Life, Thoughts, Time with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 6, 2013 by vixstar1314

If only you knew…

     If only you knew how many nights I stare up at the night sky thinking of you.

       When the stars are present,

it brings me calm as I feel as if they are looking over you

and protecting you from the darkness of the night sky.

When the moon is glowing brightly,

I feel at peace,

knowing it’s shinning some light onto you.

When the sky is dark,

I feel a sense of lost,

as I remember you are not here.

The truth is many nights,

the moon,

the stars

are nowhere to be seen,

but I continue to stare up at the darkness.

In those quiet moments,

my thoughts ask:

How can I miss someone who I don’t really know and who barely knows me?

However who can say what is in store for any of us……



“When he shall die cut him up into little stars. so that all the world be in love with night”

Is it out there?

Posted in Event, introspective, Life, Personal, Thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 20, 2012 by vixstar1314

It’s hard to move away when so much I have ever felt and known has been empty and hollow. For most of my life I have felt incomplete and that I have never belonged anywhere, I have tried, tried so hard but still no.
There is a known fact that first you need to be comfortable with yourself before you can live properly.
However I think I have been far too comfortable with myself, that I can be in my own company for a long time and I’m really use to it. I like the sheltered life that my mind has created for me.
The outside world is too threatening and unhappy, people backstabbing each other, the wars, the politics, everything is made so much more complex when so many people are added into the equation, they step on each other to protect themselves, when money speaks louder than what really matters in life. This is why I like living in my isolation, in my sleep its my salvation. In my mind there is hope.
When thrown into the world outside and people are involved, it becomes unfriendly, brutal, complex, I severely dislike this all. It hurts me so much.
I find comfort in the night because there are barely any people around, its calm and peaceful…

Maybe eventually I will truly find a place where I belong, one can only hope and pray it is possible and near.

Those feelings…

Posted in Creativity, Event, God, introspective, Life, Personal, Thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 7, 2012 by vixstar1314

Because I am God’s child so I have feelings, some high some low…….
Those feelings varies: –

There are times when I see things that makes my heart feels like it’s being squeezed until I struggle to breathe. It’s like somehow oxygen and energy is taken out of me and the door has been closed where the light has been taken out of parts of my heart. As it feels like the only fix is that which had extinguished it in the first place. It feels likes it’s all suppose to be united as one, yet I know this is not the case and will not be the case, no matter how much I want it all to be as so. If I look again I know what I want will not be that of reality. So I look again and try to slowly let it go.

There are times when everything around me becomes blurry, when I become absorbed into the moment, in the music, into nature, into the universe. Suddenly it’s like my soul has existed my body, where I feel really light. To the extent that for a moment or two the noises around me becomes blocked out, and I feel very light. Where there are no problems, troubles, worries and I feel at peace. When the world becomes a much simpler and lighter place, where the fast paced trivial factors that we encounter in everyday life evaporates. This is when I feel God’s present closer than ever. Even though it takes me “away from Earth” it actually takes me deeper into the universe.

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