Archive for Meaning

RIP Chester Bennington may you find peace in the beyond

Posted in Creativity, Event, Life, lost, Lyrics, Mind - Psychology, Music, Personal, Society, Songs, soundtrack, This May Help U!, Thoughts, Time with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 22, 2017 by vixstar1314

Mental health illness of depression and suicide are real things.
It is scary because they are demons others can’t truly hear or see. But for the people who suffer from it, it’s rather constant because the thoughts are always there. It’s so difficult to be able to shut them out and escape.depression.jpg

Over the years these have gotten worse and more and more people suffer from it. On some levels the awareness is being bought to more people’s attention.
Just a few days ago the suicide of : Chester Bennington rocked the world as a whole. Linkin Park’s music had save millions and for Chester it saved him for two decades as well but finally the pain within got too much.

Chester B.jpg

Imagine for him to sing these lyrics that he wrote, must have both been a way of releasing it from inside but also from seeing his eyes during live performances you would notice it was quite painful to associate these words to his past and memories. Music was definitely a hemisphere where he would go to escape and to express so much inside that he had built up.

From the words in many of the songs it clearly depicts his life journey, thoughts, darkness, happiness and emotions. So much power in these words alone. Let alone what was actually going on inside his heart and mind must have been a billion times more.

To have to result to taking that final step of taking his own life after experiencing the outcome of what happened when his friend Chris Cornell took his life and knowing the impact of it all and how hurt and hard it was on his family, friends and fans. Meant he really couldn’t take it anymore.
Suicide is never so clear-cut, you cannot blame the person who did it and you definitely feel so sorry for those they leave behind.

The very scary thing is, from experience I think a lot of people who have or are going through deep depression know that deep deep down they have locked a specific demon away as hard as they can. The demon that whispers to them to end it all. This is one of the hardest thing to do because it continues to fight so often to try to come out.
When I hear the lyrics from Linkin Park’s Leave out all the rest:

“When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I’ve done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
And don’t resent me
And when you’re feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest”

I feel like something inside of Chester knew one day if it happened when that demon manages to come out and he cannot take it anymore these words are to all those he loved and cared about to ask for their forgiveness but also giving them the power to continue on without him. Hence why this song is one of my favourite from them because these words are something that echo more than just simple words but stringing it all together provides an explanation on some level.

I truly hope all those gentle souls who were unable to find peace in this world can in the beyond.

 

RIP

The untold and unfinish but understandable story

Posted in Creativity, introspective, Life, Thoughts with tags , , , , , , on April 19, 2016 by vixstar1314

It was always going to be unfinished.

From the moment when I finally realised what had happened, how overtime my feelings, your feelings, our feelings had developed and interconnected, I foresaw the not so complete ending.My gut feeling, my inkling was strong and accurate however this didn’t soften the blow in the end. I knew it was coming but it was never easy or possible to dissolve the feelings that were engraved into me.

After all that had happened, after the years that had past. The unbearable pains that torn through every corner of my insides, the sleepless nights, the buckets of tears and the restless days. Here I am today. 

So much untold and unfinish and today won’t be the day they are unwrapped but I have an understanding of what I have been through, how you were and still are good in my eyes. I have yet to fully escape but I think I never will. After everything I still can’t leave all the feelings behind. You are still part of my thoughts, less than before, but still presence some days and nights. Most of the time it brings me comfort now rather than pain. I guess time does heal aspects no matter what.

I could never really define how and why it all started but I knew why and how it had to be an unfinished ending.

This is the story I will never be able to completely write…

 

 

The non existence

Posted in Creativity, introspective, Life, This May Help U!, Thoughts with tags , , , , on March 10, 2016 by vixstar1314

The non existence of “fair”

There is nothing in this world which can be said is fair. Aside from the word itself that exists.

There will never be perfection.

Even though this is known, at times I struggle to make peace with this. Of how sometimes grey exists. Of how this world is, how there are so many wrongs. So many unfairness and unbalance. Thus I try to convince myself just to let it be….

Paradox of life

Posted in Creativity, Life, Personal with tags , , , , , , , , , , on October 21, 2015 by vixstar1314

My worse fear is the deaths of those I care. Yet they are realities which will happen eventually just not sure when. And the realisation and thought that is just heart wrenching. Paradox of life and love is death and pain.

This is life!

I may look young but I have seen and known pain and suffering. I have experienced a lot of bumps and falls in my life.

My foundations of life and living is rather profound. However I rarely share these with those around me as I am consciously aware that the majority of them have been bound by perspectives created by society known as “life today,” the images, the celebs, the materialistic aspects, the need for more of everything that is in actual fact hollow and empty, the short bursts of what they deems as “happiness.” In a non conform society one would see these stuff as without depth. Therefore I feel as if i have been born into the wrong time and place. An alien on this planet in this “society”.

So I reframe from expressing majority of my thoughts and feelings because they are so different from others. So much more clear and clean  cut. I guess this is where my blog comes in sometimes, as here I feel that the typing allows the freedom in me to flow out into a different hemisphere – the cloud.

Paradox

Posted in Creativity, Life with tags , , , , , , , on October 17, 2015 by vixstar1314

“The Universe is very, very big.
It also loves a paradox. For example, it has some extremely strict rules.

Rule number one: Nothing lasts forever.
Not you or your family or your house or your planet or the sun. It is an absolute rule. Therefore when someone says that their love will never die, it means that their love is not real, for everything that is real dies.

Rule number two: Everything lasts forever.”
Craig Ferguson, Between the Bridge and the River

Ask yourself

Posted in Creativity, introspective, Life with tags , , , on September 9, 2015 by vixstar1314

I saw this phrase which feels like great wisdom….AskYourself

To everyone who once knew me or knows me

Posted in Event, introspective, Life, Personal, Thoughts with tags , , , , , , on August 15, 2015 by vixstar1314

A strong floating thought: If words were enough to explain what you meant to me during the past or even now….. how you have influenced and changed me. The impact you had and still have on me today. Somehow you all are still a part of me whether that is through memories, personalities or my thoughts.

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