Archive for introspective

Misfit II

Posted in Creativity, introspective, Life, lost, Personal with tags , , , , on October 27, 2015 by vixstar1314

I have never felt like I fit into this world. Like I was born into the wrong time or place or even universe.

My nature is too soft for all the complications, politics, the constant force to conform to society in this world.

Nothing seems simple or selfless in this strange world.

Inside me I like the peaceful and calm world that seem correct and ideal. Dare I say perfect..

Which I know this world can never be and I find that difficult to comprehend. Making it often an unimaginable struggle to live in this world.

To everyone who once knew me or knows me

Posted in Event, introspective, Life, Personal, Thoughts with tags , , , , , , on August 15, 2015 by vixstar1314

A strong floating thought: If words were enough to explain what you meant to me during the past or even now….. how you have influenced and changed me. The impact you had and still have on me today. Somehow you all are still a part of me whether that is through memories, personalities or my thoughts.

Where are my?

Posted in introspective, Life, lost, Thoughts with tags , , , , , on July 27, 2015 by vixstar1314

I am here on Earth, but I often question where are my? My mind and presence here at times seemed so incomplete and scattered. I don’t feel like I belong. The place I feel most completed at this current point in time is in my own mind, where I have created an ideal world, my own utopia – where I have found a sense of peace. Unfortunately it doesn’t last, as the noise from the outer world disturbs it and I am pulled back to the cruel reality. I wonder whether I will ever feel completed or “right” in this world. If I do, I shall let you know. I wish and pray I will, but I guess only time will reveal it. So far I have felt like this for as long as I can remember thus, far too long….

Dark me tonight

Posted in God, introspective, Thoughts with tags , , , , , on July 5, 2015 by vixstar1314

Dear God,

I long to believe so much about love, life, future, the world, humanity and the greater good but the dark demons in me blocks out the light. I struggle to grasp the light to pull myself out to see more of the beauties in life. I asked you something today which I know I shouldn’t but it was just in my head. Is there a heaven above, and do I need to get through this so call life to reach my final peace destination of heaven? 

I feel as if tonight will be a night which my pondering mode will reach highs…


Because my mind is  never clear. Why? Too many contradictions. Thoughts. Theories. Memories. Experiences. Which simultaneously occur in my thought processing. My mind is by far so different to most people in this world……


The difference for me between my mind thinking and what I say…

Posted in Creativity, introspective, Life, Mind - Psychology, Personal, Thoughts with tags , , , , on April 16, 2015 by vixstar1314


The difference for me between my mind thinking and what I say…


Because I know most will not understand or get the deepness of my thoughts.

A night deep into the dark

Posted in Event, introspective, Life, lost, Mind - Psychology, Thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 10, 2015 by vixstar1314

My mind is constantly awake at night playing back the past memories and regrets.

Or playing out a future that isn’t here,

torturing me into the dark night.

There are some nights where it takes me deep into the dark,

where it goes harrowingly deep inside of me and my soul.


Posted in Creativity, Event, Life, Personal, Thoughts with tags , , , , , on June 29, 2014 by vixstar1314

I personally don’t believe in love at first sight. That in itself seems to be solely based on the exterior of looks, even the name implies it. I believe in the form of true love. The one which suddenly creeps up on you without you ever realizing and suddenly the strike of realization shakes you to your core and your life is suddenly forever changed.

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