Archive for Escape

RIP Chester Bennington may you find peace in the beyond

Posted in Creativity, Event, Life, lost, Lyrics, Mind - Psychology, Music, Personal, Society, Songs, soundtrack, This May Help U!, Thoughts, Time with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 22, 2017 by vixstar1314

Mental health illness of depression and suicide are real things.
It is scary because they are demons others can’t truly hear or see. But for the people who suffer from it, it’s rather constant because the thoughts are always there. It’s so difficult to be able to shut them out and escape.depression.jpg

Over the years these have gotten worse and more and more people suffer from it. On some levels the awareness is being bought to more people’s attention.
Just a few days ago the suicide of : Chester Bennington rocked the world as a whole. Linkin Park’s music had save millions and for Chester it saved him for two decades as well but finally the pain within got too much.

Chester B.jpg

Imagine for him to sing these lyrics that he wrote, must have both been a way of releasing it from inside but also from seeing his eyes during live performances you would notice it was quite painful to associate these words to his past and memories. Music was definitely a hemisphere where he would go to escape and to express so much inside that he had built up.

From the words in many of the songs it clearly depicts his life journey, thoughts, darkness, happiness and emotions. So much power in these words alone. Let alone what was actually going on inside his heart and mind must have been a billion times more.

To have to result to taking that final step of taking his own life after experiencing the outcome of what happened when his friend Chris Cornell took his life and knowing the impact of it all and how hurt and hard it was on his family, friends and fans. Meant he really couldn’t take it anymore.
Suicide is never so clear-cut, you cannot blame the person who did it and you definitely feel so sorry for those they leave behind.

The very scary thing is, from experience I think a lot of people who have or are going through deep depression know that deep deep down they have locked a specific demon away as hard as they can. The demon that whispers to them to end it all. This is one of the hardest thing to do because it continues to fight so often to try to come out.
When I hear the lyrics from Linkin Park’s Leave out all the rest:

“When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I’ve done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
And don’t resent me
And when you’re feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest”

I feel like something inside of Chester knew one day if it happened when that demon manages to come out and he cannot take it anymore these words are to all those he loved and cared about to ask for their forgiveness but also giving them the power to continue on without him. Hence why this song is one of my favourite from them because these words are something that echo more than just simple words but stringing it all together provides an explanation on some level.

I truly hope all those gentle souls who were unable to find peace in this world can in the beyond.



Weight of the world

Posted in Creativity, introspective, Life, Lyrics, Music, Society, Songs with tags , , , , , on February 8, 2015 by vixstar1314

I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder every living moment.

I know this is the way of life but too often it causes me to collapse too deep. 

Now I wish I could really just fly away.

Fly somewhere far far away.

The below song is fitting for my mood







I used to carry the weight of the world
And now all I wanna do is spread my wings and fly
I don’t know why I was so afraid… all the time
Memories seemed to bother me.. my whole life
I used to carry the weight of the world
And now all I wanna do is spread my wings and fly
I used to carry the weight of the world
And now all I wanna do is spread my wings and fly
I don’t know why I was so ashamed
Such a waste of time
And I don’t know who I was trying to be
All those lies
I used to carry the weight of the world
And now all I wanna do is spread my wings and fly
I used to carry the weight of the world
And now all I wanna do is spread my wings and fly
Oh and there’s always something
Or somebody right behind
Well we’re not meant to be everything
We’re just a piece
So spread your wings
Oh I don’t know why I was so afraid all the time
I used to carry the weight of the world
And now all I wanna do is spread my wings and fly…


Posted in Creativity, introspective, Life, Personal with tags , , , , , , on December 21, 2014 by vixstar1314

Once a dream whispered into the dark night.

Awakening the souls that hovered aimlessly around


Posted in Creativity, introspective, Personal, Thoughts with tags , , , , , , on November 6, 2013 by vixstar1314

I’m an inward person. The reality is that the world I seek does not exist. The only way I can find it is within my imagination. However I am aware I get deeply absorbed and it becomes very dangerous as I feel disconnected with reality.

Thoughts and feelings

Posted in Creativity, Event, introspective, Life, Personal, Thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 18, 2013 by vixstar1314

It’s often the thoughtful, kind, smart and analytical over thinkers that are the most troubled, due to them not being able to escape their own thoughts or everything that is around them. They become deeply absorbed into so many aspects that to others don’t appear to matter. It is because of this that they struggle to juggle life. Embroiled with so many pressures. Over drive constantly surrounds them. With that I bring you the below:

The night makes me feel calm, even though I feel so alone and isolated. I feel at peace and free.
But the thought of day time and social conventions causes my mind to overdrive into anxiety. The day-to-day processes and routines seem so familiar yet so draining. I feel as if during the day I am surrounded by water so every breath I am taking is underwater and choking me, causing my vision to become very blurry and I want to become invisible.

This is why so many nights I wish the night would not end, so that the day would not start.
I know it is wrong, but this is how I feel.
The day brings me a sense of sorrow which cannot be explained or understood.

I get that situations and life can be much worse yet for reasons that I don’t understand I still cannot feel right. There are times when I feel I cannot take anymore. I feel as if everything and everyone has stretched me in different directions and I am about to snap.

The scars are inside and out. Little by little it built up. I didn’t realize until it was too late, it had caught me. It’s said that nothing is ever too late, but that is not true, because by the time you realize it is already too late, and all that is left is regret.
Eventually you learn that you should not regret about the past, but that does not make it any easier nor does it change the truth…. at times it is the brutal truth.  So you try to “move on” but in reality it has cut too deep, the wound is constantly bleeding, and even if it stops the scars never actually truly fade. No matter what, it is still there. It’s often in the greatest tragedy that we remember because it haunts and scars us the deepest and most.

The Great Escape

Posted in Creativity, Event, introspective, Life, Personal, Story, Thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 28, 2013 by vixstar1314

Graham Greene:

“Writing is a form of therapy; sometimes I wonder how all those who do not write, compose, or paint can manage to escape the madness, melancholia, the panic and fear which is inherent in a human situation.”


The short story of : The Great Escape

My feelings for you grew stronger and stronger each day, but at the same time I as a person grew weaker and weaker, until finally I lost everything that was “me.” There was nothing left in me to help me come back out. This me found an alternative universe, where it felt safe and comfortable. It preferred the imaginary universe far more than the real one. It was like a completely different universe, one that was so good that it was better than reality. I didn’t want to leave. It became a great escape, even though I knew it wasn’t real and it was not quite right yet I couldn’t let go. The contradiction between the two became very raw. I had become an excapist. However reality chased closely behind and often caught up. This was when it all hit back. The different dimensions collided, separated and merged, taking different controls each time. Maybe this is what {Rabih Alameddine meant when he said : “I believe one has to escape oneself to discover oneself.”}



Posted in Creativity, introspective, Life, Thoughts, Time, Travelling with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 24, 2013 by vixstar1314



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