Archive for emotions


Posted in Life, lost, Personal, Thoughts with tags , , , , , , on October 27, 2016 by vixstar1314

There are some really dark stuff within me.
Thoughts, feelings, emotions about my life, life in general, future, the world.
They ain’t thoughts that are dark towards other people. But more really realistic perspective of the world.
It is said that depressed people have the most realistic view of the world. Maybe that is sort of what I have.
I live with these emotions daily. They peak, fall, balance and disappear unexpectedly. At best they linger behind me constantly and come out occassionally.I have done well to coexist with it all to the extent that people around me no nothing of the extent of these darkness within me, that I try so hard to bury.

Letting go

Posted in introspective, Life, Personal with tags , , , , on March 10, 2015 by vixstar1314

I have finally reached that line and walked over it.

The line of letting go of you.


I always knew you meant much more to me than I meant to you, however I thought at the very least I had a significant meaning of worthy value to you. But time told me differently. Quite a significant period of time had passed by, your distance and isolation of me had nearly frozen everything inside of me. It got to a point where it hurt so much it finally scattered and thus, I was truly free.

Memories of you and of us will always linger. I am sure once in a while my mind will wonder what you are up to, how is life for you, do you ever regret the way you treated me? However the impact you caused attacked me from all directions continuously, it was emotionally, financially and mentally. These subsequently affected me on a physical level as well. I endured this in my mind even after you had left for a long period of time. You let me down so badly and betrayed my trust to the extent that words will never be able to comprehend. It took so much and so long to stand back up and recover from it all. But I can now put my hand on my heart and say I am finally able to let go.


The grey area

Posted in Creativity, introspective, Life, lost, Personal with tags , , , , , , , on January 29, 2015 by vixstar1314

I am simple yet also complex.

Sometimes it is unbearable to have so much going on in my mind. I constantly question how and why? No wonder it is all so confusing and blurry.

Far too often I can barely find the words to articulate a third of what I think or feel. I am locked in my own self.
This blog is in a strange way my support, my comfort my salvation from all the scary noises in reality that can be so painful and messy to me.

Lost in Life

Posted in introspective, Life, lost, Personal with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 4, 2015 by vixstar1314

Life moves constantly.

However when we feel like we are stuck in a dark place this can feel like never ending. Eternity. I can honestly share with you that in my life I have been through countless highs and low. There have been times where I have been lost in life.

Each time I muscle up the strength to bring myself back to make the changes needed.

By saying things like:

Your life. It is your own personal story. Review and reflect in between living it, then push forward. Continue on. Live it!

Let it

Posted in introspective, Life, Personal, Story with tags , , , , , on December 28, 2014 by vixstar1314

I have tried to let you go,

but I struggle to let myself go…

It is like my brain and heart has been pulled out.

Then something else I cannot control has been instead put inside of me,

altering what I was,

or could have been.


Posted in Creativity, introspective, Life, Personal with tags , , , , , , on December 21, 2014 by vixstar1314

Once a dream whispered into the dark night.

Awakening the souls that hovered aimlessly around

Which way do I spin

Posted in Creativity, introspective, Life, Society with tags , , , , , on December 18, 2014 by vixstar1314

A part of me is left somewhere everyday.

But at the same time a part of me is chipped away from witnessing and feeling the deep flaws surrounding the world.

Sometimes a few aspects in life helps to make life seem like there is a bigger purpose. However far too often the holes inside of me feel too empty that it is infill-able.

I don’t understand why and how I feel the need to see a much bigger picture of this world, instead of just my own circle. I try spinning to re-adjust my view points and focus but each time it just makes me dizzy and brings me back to square one.

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