Archive for distance

The phoenix that is you

Posted in Creativity, Life, Personal, Thoughts with tags , , , , , , on July 26, 2017 by vixstar1314

You will always be the phoenix.


No matter how many times I have tried to suppress thoughts of you and lock you deep inside my heart. One way or another when I least expect it, you rise again. Tugging at my mind and heart string. Making me think of the memories we created together, making me wonder how your life is going, do I ever cross your mind?

You will always be the one that I connected the deepest with. That one that I wished in an ideal world we would be one.

I clearly remember this one dream I had a few years ago, whereby my ex-boyfriend was looking at me, I was standing by my current boyfriend who was looking at me, but I was looking at you…I believe on some level this depict my deepest, truest desires and feelings.

The feelings and thoughts about you have decreased over the years. But they still appear several times a month. Sometimes these thoughts are quite dark, like if I was on the brink of death would I miss you the most, would you be my last thought and regret? Maybe you was always my fire, the one that light me most but also the one that burnt me the deepest. However the only thing that is real between us now is the distance…..



Lost and blurry

Posted in Creativity, introspective, Life, lost, Personal, Society with tags , , , , , , on February 3, 2015 by vixstar1314

I can see a few lights scattered around me,

however the world around me seems and feels so blurry IMG_9100

I am struggling to see the clear path that I so badly need and want.

All that is left is to wander around into the dark.

Hoping to find a way out.


Lost in Life

Posted in introspective, Life, lost, Personal with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 4, 2015 by vixstar1314

Life moves constantly.

However when we feel like we are stuck in a dark place this can feel like never ending. Eternity. I can honestly share with you that in my life I have been through countless highs and low. There have been times where I have been lost in life.

Each time I muscle up the strength to bring myself back to make the changes needed.

By saying things like:

Your life. It is your own personal story. Review and reflect in between living it, then push forward. Continue on. Live it!


Posted in Creativity, introspective, Life, Personal with tags , , , , , , on December 21, 2014 by vixstar1314

Once a dream whispered into the dark night.

Awakening the souls that hovered aimlessly around

Till this day…

Posted in Creativity, Event, introspective, Life, Thoughts with tags , , , on November 19, 2014 by vixstar1314

… I still find myself avoiding places that you may be at,

or that we were once there together because it hurts too much to be there now.

But when I do happen to go to a place you could be,

I longingly look round futily,

hoping to catch a glimpse of you again.

 It takes everything inside of me to stop myself from calling or thinking about you. 

Million Miles Away

Posted in introspective, Life, Thoughts with tags , , , on March 1, 2012 by vixstar1314

Work of Vixstar1314©

“In theory we are so close,

if I reach out you should be there,

so close.

Yet in reality,

you are a million miles away,

you have kept me at bay.

You don’t remember me,

but I remember you.

It’s all craved into me like a knife,

as each organ slowly dies.

I can’t escape,

I can’t explain.

No one hear’s.

 Badly need change,

I need to change,

but I don’t know how,

so I just frown.

Badly want to be free,

but where else can I go?

So instead,

I set you free.

I have good intentions for myself,

so I use words to comfort me.

But I care too deeply for you,

so I use actions to set you free.”


Posted in Creativity, Society, Songs with tags , on July 7, 2011 by vixstar1314

The strange thing is, I am present, physically I am standing but the truth is there is a massive distance between me and this world, and the people within it.
They say the scariest thing about distance is that you don’t know whether you would be missed or just completely forgotten.
It’s like I have ceased to exist
I look all around me but my gaze is so far and distanced. I see pass everything unable to take in the surrounding.As I continue to feel a part of me entering the hollowness of life.
The distance of a circle is continuous, going round and round, repeating itself constantly like the feelings within.

This song describes it all:
Birds of Tokyo – Circles

I’m being followed by my shadow
He’s been creeping around
Asking where I’ve been
He keeps tapping on my shoulder
Telling me it’s over
So where do I begin?

These dark days are getting harder
I feel I’m treading water
So will I sink or swim?
Roll on, push a little further
I keep saying ‘Is this worth it,
Or should I just give in?’
I don’t know

I don’t know which way I’m supposed to spin
In this circle
But I won’t waste my time on your concern
‘Til it’s over

I look back on a distant border
I fear I’m getting older
There’s so much that I missed
Walk on, following a faint line
See if I can define where I came undone

I don’t know which way I’m supposed to spin
In this circle
And I won’t waste my time on your concern
‘Til it’s over

And I will wait my turn, my time will come
This ain’t over
And I can’t wait no more, no sweet return
This is over

So it is
(No sweet return)
So it is
(No sweet return)
So it is
(No sweet return)
So it is
(No sweet return)

This is over.

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