Archive for Dark


Posted in Life, lost, Personal, Thoughts with tags , , , , , , on October 27, 2016 by vixstar1314

There are some really dark stuff within me.
Thoughts, feelings, emotions about my life, life in general, future, the world.
They ain’t thoughts that are dark towards other people. But more really realistic perspective of the world.
It is said that depressed people have the most realistic view of the world. Maybe that is sort of what I have.
I live with these emotions daily. They peak, fall, balance and disappear unexpectedly. At best they linger behind me constantly and come out occassionally.I have done well to coexist with it all to the extent that people around me no nothing of the extent of these darkness within me, that I try so hard to bury.


Dark me tonight

Posted in God, introspective, Thoughts with tags , , , , , on July 5, 2015 by vixstar1314

Dear God,

I long to believe so much about love, life, future, the world, humanity and the greater good but the dark demons in me blocks out the light. I struggle to grasp the light to pull myself out to see more of the beauties in life. I asked you something today which I know I shouldn’t but it was just in my head. Is there a heaven above, and do I need to get through this so call life to reach my final peace destination of heaven? 

I feel as if tonight will be a night which my pondering mode will reach highs…


Because my mind is  never clear. Why? Too many contradictions. Thoughts. Theories. Memories. Experiences. Which simultaneously occur in my thought processing. My mind is by far so different to most people in this world……


A night deep into the dark

Posted in Event, introspective, Life, lost, Mind - Psychology, Thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 10, 2015 by vixstar1314

My mind is constantly awake at night playing back the past memories and regrets.

Or playing out a future that isn’t here,

torturing me into the dark night.

There are some nights where it takes me deep into the dark,

where it goes harrowingly deep inside of me and my soul.

Night Sky

Posted in Creativity, introspective, Life, Personal with tags , , on January 14, 2015 by vixstar1314

At least we’re under the same sky.

The same night sky that holds the stars.

The same night sky that holds the moon.


Darkness in me

Posted in Creativity, introspective, Personal with tags , , , , , , , , , , on January 9, 2015 by vixstar1314

Writing opens a whole new world. The words make it more real. It provides it with an another home aside from my brain. This way it is more concrete and solid.

I always knew looking back on the tears would make me re-live lessons like flashbacks. But I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry.

I have always felt there was a degree of darkness in me. Ones which I have been unable to talk about with anyone. The darkness is not at other people. More to do with me.
The dark thoughts that linger in my mind. The dark empty feelings I feel about this world, the lost hope and belief that have drawn on what I use to think was a great world.
The dark holes inside of me that have come about after dents that have been marked onto me over the years from lost, betrayal, stumble upon stumbles of problems, pain,

But I am aware that with dark comes light. thus, we continue to live on.


Posted in Creativity, introspective, Life, Personal with tags , , , , , , on December 21, 2014 by vixstar1314

Once a dream whispered into the dark night.

Awakening the souls that hovered aimlessly around

I use to…

Posted in Creativity, introspective, Life, Personal, Society with tags , , , , on October 9, 2014 by vixstar1314

I use to believe in a lot,

but I now come to realize,

the more and more I’m exposed to life and this world,

the less and less I come to believe.

The more and more things seem to be wrong.

I’m trying to bring back the old thoughts.

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