Archive for answers

RIP Chester Bennington may you find peace in the beyond

Posted in Creativity, Event, Life, lost, Lyrics, Mind - Psychology, Music, Personal, Society, Songs, soundtrack, This May Help U!, Thoughts, Time with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 22, 2017 by vixstar1314

Mental health illness of depression and suicide are real things.
It is scary because they are demons others can’t truly hear or see. But for the people who suffer from it, it’s rather constant because the thoughts are always there. It’s so difficult to be able to shut them out and escape.depression.jpg

Over the years these have gotten worse and more and more people suffer from it. On some levels the awareness is being bought to more people’s attention.
Just a few days ago the suicide of : Chester Bennington rocked the world as a whole. Linkin Park’s music had save millions and for Chester it saved him for two decades as well but finally the pain within got too much.

Chester B.jpg

Imagine for him to sing these lyrics that he wrote, must have both been a way of releasing it from inside but also from seeing his eyes during live performances you would notice it was quite painful to associate these words to his past and memories. Music was definitely a hemisphere where he would go to escape and to express so much inside that he had built up.

From the words in many of the songs it clearly depicts his life journey, thoughts, darkness, happiness and emotions. So much power in these words alone. Let alone what was actually going on inside his heart and mind must have been a billion times more.

To have to result to taking that final step of taking his own life after experiencing the outcome of what happened when his friend Chris Cornell took his life and knowing the impact of it all and how hurt and hard it was on his family, friends and fans. Meant he really couldn’t take it anymore.
Suicide is never so clear-cut, you cannot blame the person who did it and you definitely feel so sorry for those they leave behind.

The very scary thing is, from experience I think a lot of people who have or are going through deep depression know that deep deep down they have locked a specific demon away as hard as they can. The demon that whispers to them to end it all. This is one of the hardest thing to do because it continues to fight so often to try to come out.
When I hear the lyrics from Linkin Park’s Leave out all the rest:

“When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I’ve done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
And don’t resent me
And when you’re feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest”

I feel like something inside of Chester knew one day if it happened when that demon manages to come out and he cannot take it anymore these words are to all those he loved and cared about to ask for their forgiveness but also giving them the power to continue on without him. Hence why this song is one of my favourite from them because these words are something that echo more than just simple words but stringing it all together provides an explanation on some level.

I truly hope all those gentle souls who were unable to find peace in this world can in the beyond.




Posted in Event, introspective, Life, Reads, Thoughts, Time with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 10, 2013 by vixstar1314

Inside the world of someone who has withdrawn from others and society:

I “pen” this down, because speech has never been easy for me.

I find that with every answer I get there are more questions. More unknowns.
It is kind of hard to keep trying to look for stuff that are unanswerable, and to some extent, never will be answered.

I find that often when I am consumed by so much, I go into my own thoughts and world. The term that has been coined for this is no other than: “withdrawn” or “hikikomori.” So much has seem to shattered that I don’t see the light, the darkness overshadows everything, and I can only feel ok when I am alone in my room where others cannot hassle me, where I can go into my own zone, and not have to worry about the outside world which I hate and fear so much. I badly wish that the pieces in my life would fall into place, after trying and holding on for so long. Maybe to go forward I have to completely let go and drop all the pieces to see what happens. To get a better view….


Understanding and explanation

Posted in Creativity, introspective, Life, Personal, Thoughts, Time with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 3, 2012 by vixstar1314

Vixstar1314: *short collection of thoughts*

Ever since that change,

something significant had shifted extensively within me.

What exactly has happened?

This question puzzles me.

With certainty,

I can answer I will never be the same again – something has permanently been taken from within me.

And my understanding of everything else has now become something that has continuously troubled me.

Many days,

many nights,

I have asked myself again and again,

hoping, praying, to get the answer.

It never came.

Just as the feelings never evaporated into the surroundings,

unlike my words. IMG_7124

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