The untold and unfinish but understandable story

Posted in Creativity, introspective, Life, Thoughts with tags , , , , , , on April 19, 2016 by vixstar1314

It was always going to be unfinished.

From the moment when I finally realised what had happened, how overtime my feelings, your feelings, our feelings had developed and interconnected, I foresaw the not so complete ending.My gut feeling, my inkling was strong and accurate however this didn’t soften the blow in the end. I knew it was coming but it was never easy or possible to dissolve the feelings that were engraved into me.

After all that had happened, after the years that had past. The unbearable pains that torn through every corner of my insides, the sleepless nights, the buckets of tears and the restless days. Here I am today. 

So much untold and unfinish and today won’t be the day they are unwrapped but I have an understanding of what I have been through, how you were and still are good in my eyes. I have yet to fully escape but I think I never will. After everything I still can’t leave all the feelings behind. You are still part of my thoughts, less than before, but still presence some days and nights. Most of the time it brings me comfort now rather than pain. I guess time does heal aspects no matter what.

I could never really define how and why it all started but I knew why and how it had to be an unfinished ending.

This is the story I will never be able to completely write…

 

 

Breathing

Posted in Life on April 13, 2016 by vixstar1314

Many many days I know I am only breathing, not actually living.I am only breathing in and out, in and out because I have to. Not for any reason. I feel as if I am physically present but mentally far far away. It is a frightening thought at time, but I am so use to it that it feels like a companion that has been with me all my life. We are neither on good terms or bad. We are nothing.

他一定會找到你,你要等

Posted in Life on April 11, 2016 by vixstar1314

朋友.珍惜你所擁有的

你要相信世界上一定會有一個你的愛人,無論你此刻正被光芒環繞,被掌聲淹沒,還是那時你正孤獨地走在寒冷的街道上被大雨淋濕。

無論是飄著小雪的微涼清晨,還是被熱浪炙烤的薄暮黃昏,他一定會穿越這個世界上洶湧的人群,他一一地走過他們,懷著一顆用力跳動的心臟走向你。他一定會捧著滿腔的熱和目光裡沉甸甸的愛,走向你、抓緊你。他會迫不及待地走到你的身邊。

如果他年輕,那他一定會像頑劣的孩童霸占著自己的玩具不肯與人分享般的擁抱你。如果他已經不再年輕,那他一定會像披荊斬棘歸來的獵人,在你身旁燃氣篝火。然後擁抱著你疲憊而放心地睡去。他一定會找到你、你要等。

我相信有那麼一個人。我也相信他會找到我。只是,我會給自己一個期限。等到那時候,他還沒來,我就自己去找。

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Music haven is all that I have today

Posted in Life on April 8, 2016 by vixstar1314

Lately I have struggled more than usual to articlate how I feel even through typing. Luckily for the time being it seems like music is my haven. It is where words flow into me.

This songs helps explain how I feel today…..

Down 

Jason Walker

I don’t know where I’m at
I’m standing at the back
And I’m tired of waiting
Waiting here in line,
Hoping that I’ll find
What I’ve been chasing

I shot for the sky
I’m stuck on the ground
So why do I try,
I know I’m gonna fall down
I thought I could fly,
So why did I drown?
Never know why
It’s coming down, down, down

Not ready to let go
‘Cause then I’d never know
What I could be missing
But I’m missing way too much
So when do I give up
What I’ve been wishing for

I shot for the sky
I’m stuck on the ground
So why do I try,
I know I’m gonna fall down
I thought I could fly,
So why did I drown?
Never know why
It’s coming down, down, down
Oh I am going down, down, down
Can’t find another way around
And I don’t want to hear the sound,
Of losing what I never found

I shot for the sky
I’m stuck on the ground
So why do I try,
I know I’m gonna fall down
I thought I could fly,
So why did I drown?
Never know why
It’s coming down, down, down

I shot for the sky
I’m stuck on the ground
So why do I try,
I know I’m gonna fall down
I thought I could fly,
So why did I drown?
Oh, it’s coming down, down, down

 

每個沒心沒肺的人,都有一段為某人掏心掏肺的曾經

Posted in Life on April 3, 2016 by vixstar1314

Very wise 40 phrases

朋友.珍惜你所擁有的

1、時間,漸漸帶走了年少輕狂,也慢慢沉澱了冷暖自知。

2、我們做過的事,遇到的人,以及所有的喜怒悲歡,都會濃縮成一個很感傷的詞——過去。

3、回不去的山,回不去的水,回不去的感情;留不住的風,留不住的雨,留不住的熱情。錯過了,就過了;愛走了,就走了。若是糾纏不清,累的是自己;若是留戀不放,苦的是自己。回不來的是曾經,換來的只能是同情。

4、生命是華麗錯覺,時間是賊,偷走一切。

5、誰是你心上的疼,誰是你忘不了的情,誰是你醒不了的夢?

6、我想過的生活,清新、淡泊、寧靜、恬適。

7、愛過了不後悔,愛走了不強求。緣來真心以對,緣去坦然面對。 最好的感情,就是找一個能夠聊得來的伴。各種的話題,永遠說不完;重復的語言,也不覺得厭倦。陪伴,是兩情相悅的一種習慣;懂得,是兩心互通的一種眷戀。

8、你改變不了已經發生的,所以不要浪費時間想那麼多了。前進,放手,忘了它,就這麼回事。

9、幸福是每一個微小目標的達成。這些溫暖明亮的小目標,一定也有你的。

10、享受每一刻的感覺,欣賞每一處的風景,這就是人生。

11、有的人,只剩下了一個名字,卻怎麼也捨不得刪去;有的情,只留下了一段回憶,卻無論如何也不能忘記。不敢打開回憶,只怕往事滾滾如潮;不敢重提舊情,放不下的牽掛,只有自己的心知道。 只能,遠遠的看著,靜靜的守著,深深的祝福著。也許,這就是緣分最好的結局,彼此愛過疼過,怨過傷過,一切又回到了陌生,卻再也抹不去來過的痕跡。

12、永遠不要拿你的內在,和別人的外在比。

13、偶爾我只想一個人靜靜的就好,不受任何打擾。不是冷漠,只想放空自己,感受生命美好。

14、不貪,欲念少;不嗔,心易平;不求,常知足。遇上了,請珍惜;別過了,道珍重。

15、生活,總會有無盡的麻煩,請不要無奈,因為夢還在,路還在,陽光還在,家人還在,朋友還在,你還在。

16、記性太好,有時候是一種負擔。容易忘記往事的人,是幸福的。

17、最大的遺憾不是錯過最好的人,而是當你遇見最好的人時候,已經把最好的自己用完了。

18、你不懂我的沉默,又怎麼會懂我的難過。

19、生活其實也很簡單,喜歡的就爭取,得到的就珍惜,失去了就忘記。

20、見與不見,思念一直在;愛與不愛,心一直在。

21、每個沒心沒肺的人,都有一段為某人掏心掏肺的曾經。

22、人生就是一場未知的冒險,沒有人會事先知道結局。別人只會尊重你的選擇,而不會在意你的犧牲。沒有人為你的選擇負責,所以,不要怨天尤人,也不要和別人一起感傷你的不幸,而應當冷靜面對目前的狀況,用心並且負責地去解決你現在的問題。只要能對自己的現在負責,那麼你的未來也會為你負責!

23、有些記憶,註定無法抹去;就像有些人,註定無法代替。

24、很多事,唯有當距離漸遠時,才能回首看清它。

25、眼光長遠是理性的,但也是苦悶的,因為美好永遠在將來,當下永遠有苦難。

26、相愛的時候需要真誠,爭執的時候需要溝通,生氣的時候需要冷靜,愉快的時候需要分享,指責的時候需要諒解,過日子需要包容。

27、忘記一個人,並非不再想起,而是偶爾想起,心中卻不再有波瀾。真正的忘記,是不需要努力的。

28、知識讓我們憤世嫉俗,聰明讓我們鐵石心腸。我們想得太多,同情太少。除了機器,我們更需要人性;除了智慧,我們更需要善良。沒有這些品質,生命就沒有意義。

29、不管當下的我們有沒有人愛,我們也要努力做一個可愛的人。不埋怨誰,不嘲笑誰,也不羨慕誰,陽光下燦爛,風雨中奔跑,做自己的夢,走自己的路。

30、湘竹含煙,腰下輕紗籠玳瑁;海棠經雨,臉邊清淚濕胭脂。

31、你一定要堅強,即使受過傷,流過淚,也能咬牙走下去。因為,人生,就是你一個人的人生。

32、如果你能征服你的恐懼,代表你可以戰勝死亡。

33、很多事情不能自己掌控,即使再孤單再寂寞,仍要繼續走下去,不許停也不能回頭。

34、不是還想等著你,不是不想忘記你。只是還沒有找到一個和你一樣的,讓我念念不忘,深深愛的人,來代替你。

35、就算再痛,也要笑得優雅。

36、因為愛,才放手,因為愛,才會讓一切如故。自由——雙方的自由。這樣的愛或許才能持久。

37、誰給我全世界我都會懷疑,心花怒放卻開到荼靡。

38、我放棄,不是因為我輸了,而是因為我懂了。

39、世界上最心痛的感覺,不是失戀。而是把心交出來的時候,卻遭到欺騙。

40、幸福不是你能左右多少人,而是多少人在你的左右。

其實,誰喜歡你,你能感覺得到,你喜歡誰,他對你愛不愛,在不在意,你也能感覺到。有時候,聰明如你,傻就傻在習慣欺騙自己,承諾了不該給的承諾,堅持了沒必要的堅持。愛情這件事,勉強不了,住不進你心裏的人就放他走,你走不進的世界提前先掉頭。

只有當你不在乎別人會離開時,對方才會不捨得離開。越是不在乎,關系就越穩定。所以你會發現,那些讓浪子收心的,都是些最灑脫的女人。

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Pray

Posted in introspective, Life, Personal, Thoughts with tags , , on March 25, 2016 by vixstar1314

Praying is a very special action. However you will find people all do it differently. Some find they have to pray together, some loudly, some quietly, some alone, some when they need it most, it ranges so much.

I personally like to pray when I am alone, when it is quiet so that I can talk to God. I like it to be privately. The strange thing is that so often I know I pray for people who don’t even give me a second thought at night. Yet I still pray for them. Sometimes I ask myself why do I still bother then? I guess in my heart praying for them to be safe and healthy and it coming true brings me comfort, to know that they are ok is more than enough.  

Memories

Posted in Life, Personal, Thoughts on March 21, 2016 by vixstar1314

Memories and songs can easily dig up thoughts that go back so long I fogotten they existed.

Time continues to go on.

Memories buried but can be digged up.

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