Voice Of A Friend

Posted in Creativity, Life, Lyrics, Music, Songs, soundtrack with tags , , , , on June 7, 2016 by vixstar1314

“Voice Of A Friend” ~ Blue October

Light the fire in this castle
Watch it burn into a glow
By the river fear of quite sincere
There’s a draw bridge life support.
There’s a plank we’ll have to crawl upon
But dare not look below
Where the water scene is crystal clean
Where the clouds are raining snow

Hush hush baby
there’s a lot of other ways to choke
We’re in the freak show now
and we’re dealing with a mind of its own
when too many worlds collide
I’d like to think it would be good if we talked
I ask you to not leave my side
I can’t, man,
This is quicksand alone

So I ask you thru the voice of a friend
Why don’t you stay with me

We’re a submarine submerging
Simply smiling at the earth
We’re sending roses to the loved ones
Who had a hand in our rebirth
But still another day I’ll cling to you
For faint directions home
Where we all will sit with open arms
To block the rocks we’ve thrown

Hush hush baby
There’s a lot of other ways to choke
We’re in the freak show now
And we’re dealing with a mind of its own
When too many worlds collide
I’d like to think it would be good if we talk
I ask you to not leave my side
I can’t, man,
This is quicksand alone

So I ask you thru the voice of a friend
“Why don’t you stay with me?”
I ask you thru the voice of a friend
“Why don’t you stay with me?
Stay with me.”

Feeling like Nothing

Posted in Life on May 29, 2016 by vixstar1314

The scariest parts are when you look into the mirror and you barely recognise the reflection looking back at you. You have forgotten how it feels to be happy. You have been so use to feeling like crap that it has become the norm. You see everyone around you “living” and you are just stuck.

The worse is when you know you are self destructive but you can’t stop yourself from destroying the inner you. On the outside you “smile” but on the inside you no longer have the ability to care about much. It has gotten to stages when you zone out, as it is more comforting to live in an imaginary world. It scares you knowing you prefer the unrealistic to reality. But you don’t know how to stand back up. So much is just so numb. You just drift by each day, day in day out. No aim. Just remembering you have to breathe in and out. You are tired of going down so many paths but have ended nowhere and having to go backwards. Back and forth. The energy is just going in. The despair is just growing.

I just want to start again. In starting again I mean back to the beginning, existence. Or better still never existing.

I feel like I’ve hit rock bottom and I have been so broken for so long. I don’t know how to stand back up.

This gives me a glimpse of hope….

Sandra B: “I’ve been on the floor and I’ve been heartbroken. I didn’t know how I was going to stand up. But I just gave it time.

‘You don’t think it will pass when you’re in the middle of it, but it does. I’m so lucky to have what I have. I have a beautiful child and friends and family I adore.’

The Oscar-winning actress credits Louis for helping her to look at the world differently and giving her a new sense of perspective.

She said: ‘I was OK about being alone but when you have a child everything is about exploration and being around other kids and being out in the world and seeing things.

‘So now I see things through his eyes. I haven’t ever gone out and explored and done things before like I have in the last three years.

‘I have the best life right now because I’m enjoying every single moment of this amazing human being. I’m learning how to have a good time through him… I’ve got everything I want, and it couldn’t be sweeter, better or more fulfilling.”

The crave in

Posted in Event, Life, lost, Thoughts on May 14, 2016 by vixstar1314

When your world feels like it has just craved in.

You are lost for words and even feelings.

When everything feels so numb around you.

The shock, the confusion, the anger, the frustration, the unknown all becomes overwhelming.

Time stops for those split seconds.

However the pain is the only thing that exist in that space.

When it passes it doesn’t feel any better, just more real. More longer lasting.

 

The untold and unfinish but understandable story

Posted in Creativity, introspective, Life, Thoughts with tags , , , , , , on April 19, 2016 by vixstar1314

It was always going to be unfinished.

From the moment when I finally realised what had happened, how overtime my feelings, your feelings, our feelings had developed and interconnected, I foresaw the not so complete ending.My gut feeling, my inkling was strong and accurate however this didn’t soften the blow in the end. I knew it was coming but it was never easy or possible to dissolve the feelings that were engraved into me.

After all that had happened, after the years that had past. The unbearable pains that torn through every corner of my insides, the sleepless nights, the buckets of tears and the restless days. Here I am today. 

So much untold and unfinish and today won’t be the day they are unwrapped but I have an understanding of what I have been through, how you were and still are good in my eyes. I have yet to fully escape but I think I never will. After everything I still can’t leave all the feelings behind. You are still part of my thoughts, less than before, but still presence some days and nights. Most of the time it brings me comfort now rather than pain. I guess time does heal aspects no matter what.

I could never really define how and why it all started but I knew why and how it had to be an unfinished ending.

This is the story I will never be able to completely write…

 

 

Breathing

Posted in Life on April 13, 2016 by vixstar1314

Many many days I know I am only breathing, not actually living.I am only breathing in and out, in and out because I have to. Not for any reason. I feel as if I am physically present but mentally far far away. It is a frightening thought at time, but I am so use to it that it feels like a companion that has been with me all my life. We are neither on good terms or bad. We are nothing.

他一定會找到你,你要等

Posted in Life on April 11, 2016 by vixstar1314

朋友.珍惜你所擁有的

你要相信世界上一定會有一個你的愛人,無論你此刻正被光芒環繞,被掌聲淹沒,還是那時你正孤獨地走在寒冷的街道上被大雨淋濕。

無論是飄著小雪的微涼清晨,還是被熱浪炙烤的薄暮黃昏,他一定會穿越這個世界上洶湧的人群,他一一地走過他們,懷著一顆用力跳動的心臟走向你。他一定會捧著滿腔的熱和目光裡沉甸甸的愛,走向你、抓緊你。他會迫不及待地走到你的身邊。

如果他年輕,那他一定會像頑劣的孩童霸占著自己的玩具不肯與人分享般的擁抱你。如果他已經不再年輕,那他一定會像披荊斬棘歸來的獵人,在你身旁燃氣篝火。然後擁抱著你疲憊而放心地睡去。他一定會找到你、你要等。

我相信有那麼一個人。我也相信他會找到我。只是,我會給自己一個期限。等到那時候,他還沒來,我就自己去找。

View original post

Music haven is all that I have today

Posted in Life on April 8, 2016 by vixstar1314

Lately I have struggled more than usual to articlate how I feel even through typing. Luckily for the time being it seems like music is my haven. It is where words flow into me.

This songs helps explain how I feel today…..

Down 

Jason Walker

I don’t know where I’m at
I’m standing at the back
And I’m tired of waiting
Waiting here in line,
Hoping that I’ll find
What I’ve been chasing

I shot for the sky
I’m stuck on the ground
So why do I try,
I know I’m gonna fall down
I thought I could fly,
So why did I drown?
Never know why
It’s coming down, down, down

Not ready to let go
‘Cause then I’d never know
What I could be missing
But I’m missing way too much
So when do I give up
What I’ve been wishing for

I shot for the sky
I’m stuck on the ground
So why do I try,
I know I’m gonna fall down
I thought I could fly,
So why did I drown?
Never know why
It’s coming down, down, down
Oh I am going down, down, down
Can’t find another way around
And I don’t want to hear the sound,
Of losing what I never found

I shot for the sky
I’m stuck on the ground
So why do I try,
I know I’m gonna fall down
I thought I could fly,
So why did I drown?
Never know why
It’s coming down, down, down

I shot for the sky
I’m stuck on the ground
So why do I try,
I know I’m gonna fall down
I thought I could fly,
So why did I drown?
Oh, it’s coming down, down, down

 
Life Lessons

an Owner's Guide

Destiny Of Life

What makes Life Precious is that it has to end.

Fun in the Fire

On this site, I muse in amusement.

breaths of my soul

Aspiration, the act of drawing breath, a hope or ambition of achieving something. "But it is a spirit in man, And the breath of the Almighty gives them understanding. Job 32:8

CAROL's WORLD

Something for Everyone!

BY's Art

Doodling and Drawing Life