Feeling like Nothing

The scariest parts are when you look into the mirror and you barely recognise the reflection looking back at you. You have forgotten how it feels to be happy. You have been so use to feeling like crap that it has become the norm. You see everyone around you “living” and you are just stuck.

The worse is when you know you are self destructive but you can’t stop yourself from destroying the inner you. On the outside you “smile” but on the inside you no longer have the ability to care about much. It has gotten to stages when you zone out, as it is more comforting to live in an imaginary world. It scares you knowing you prefer the unrealistic to reality. But you don’t know how to stand back up. So much is just so numb. You just drift by each day, day in day out. No aim. Just remembering you have to breathe in and out. You are tired of going down so many paths but have ended nowhere and having to go backwards. Back and forth. The energy is just going in. The despair is just growing.

I just want to start again. In starting again I mean back to the beginning, existence. Or better still never existing.

I feel like I’ve hit rock bottom and I have been so broken for so long. I don’t know how to stand back up.

This gives me a glimpse of hope….

Sandra B: “I’ve been on the floor and I’ve been heartbroken. I didn’t know how I was going to stand up. But I just gave it time.

‘You don’t think it will pass when you’re in the middle of it, but it does. I’m so lucky to have what I have. I have a beautiful child and friends and family I adore.’

The Oscar-winning actress credits Louis for helping her to look at the world differently and giving her a new sense of perspective.

She said: ‘I was OK about being alone but when you have a child everything is about exploration and being around other kids and being out in the world and seeing things.

‘So now I see things through his eyes. I haven’t ever gone out and explored and done things before like I have in the last three years.

‘I have the best life right now because I’m enjoying every single moment of this amazing human being. I’m learning how to have a good time through him… I’ve got everything I want, and it couldn’t be sweeter, better or more fulfilling.”

One Response to “Feeling like Nothing”

  1. You sound as if you are in a dark place. I empathize. However you must remember we are first and last energetic beings. Conflicting frequencies from artificial man made microwave radar energy attacks your delicate biochemical balance, and depression, at least in part, can be exacerbated by this. ONe’s whole bioelectrical low hertz delicate system becomes radically disrupted and damaged by all forms of wireless.
    Wireless is military grade weaponized microwave radiation frequencies.
    Please consider ceasing using wireless in ANY form.
    There are alternatives. You can use them to recover physical and energetic balance.
    No more portable phones, they radiate even when not in use.
    No microwave oven, they leak and send out a beam that can penetrate bodies and brains at 30+ feet or more.
    Get a truly hard wired modem (not the kind that defaults back to wireless, it gives a false sense of securityor keyboard or mouse, no cellphone, no wireless computer features.
    Use uncoated insect screen with no metal connectors just tap to create a Faraday cage around your wireless smart meter, which is like a mini cell tower capable of blanketing many square miles
    Cumulative wireless can be lethal, and even a single source of it, before the rest of the sources copound that source, entrains your brain frequencies and induces severe depression, not to mention disease.

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