Times continues to move

Times continues to move, like an oscillator. For so long last year I had become very numb to time, as I was for most of it stuck in a cycle of what seemed like endless confusion, anger and pain. My body and mind had seemed to be unable to rescue me out of it all. The impact you had had on my life both mentally and emotionally was like a drug that I couldn’t withdraw from. My means of going cold turkey was by submerging myself into unconsciousness through sleep and zoning out into my imagination, whereby my makeshift world was perfect. So perfect that I didn’t want to leave. It was an escape that I craved more and more. I had tried so many different methods of trying to restore myself but nothing lasted long enough. You had walked away like it seemed so effortlessly whilst I had fallen so deep into what seemed like a black pit. I forgot and stopped caring what it meant to be alive. As the clock continued to tick on and on, minutes turned to hours, which turned to days, months and a year.

The wise people were right – give it time, time makes pain ease bit by bit. It never truly vaporizes but it does get bearable then eventually it doesn’t consume you as much. It has taken me a long time to emerge bit by bit out of this darkness.

Scared, broken, re-borned, stronger and hopefully wiser. I am aware that I am not completely out, however I know there is some form of light. Certain encounters into my life have acted as very welcomed visitors who have come in but at the same time have pulled/rescued me from my inner dark shell.

Remember there is always light somewhere, just hold on even when all you can see is darkness. Time will provide more light…

 

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