Trying to keep bouncing

I feel as if there are only so many times I can bounce back before all my energy is drained.

It is said that the person or people you care about the most can literally shatter you in a heartbeat.

I spend late nights soul-searching for answers to questions where answers seem non-existence.

The hurdles are too high.

For some parts I know why I am feeling low, yet I don’t know how to pull myself out. I know I am worthy yet I can’t press the correct release buttons, and I am not sure why.

I am stuck in a deep mist and fog, unable to see out or in.

I am aware that I have built walls, whereby the depth of them have changed over years. At times the walls have been thin, other times they have been thick. But regardless they have always been there. I know that these have subsequently closed myself from life and I cannot get out nor can people get in. I try to protect myself but maybe on some level I am actually hurting myself in the process.

Being able to hold on and be persistent can be a quality however there are times when holding too tight onto something or someone who is going the opposite direction as you can  leave you so broken. I am still in the process of trying to teach or convince myself to let go.




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