Thoughts and feelings

It’s often the thoughtful, kind, smart and analytical over thinkers that are the most troubled, due to them not being able to escape their own thoughts or everything that is around them. They become deeply absorbed into so many aspects that to others don’t appear to matter. It is because of this that they struggle to juggle life. Embroiled with so many pressures. Over drive constantly surrounds them. With that I bring you the below:

The night makes me feel calm, even though I feel so alone and isolated. I feel at peace and free.
But the thought of day time and social conventions causes my mind to overdrive into anxiety. The day-to-day processes and routines seem so familiar yet so draining. I feel as if during the day I am surrounded by water so every breath I am taking is underwater and choking me, causing my vision to become very blurry and I want to become invisible.

This is why so many nights I wish the night would not end, so that the day would not start.
I know it is wrong, but this is how I feel.
The day brings me a sense of sorrow which cannot be explained or understood.

I get that situations and life can be much worse yet for reasons that I don’t understand I still cannot feel right. There are times when I feel I cannot take anymore. I feel as if everything and everyone has stretched me in different directions and I am about to snap.

The scars are inside and out. Little by little it built up. I didn’t realize until it was too late, it had caught me. It’s said that nothing is ever too late, but that is not true, because by the time you realize it is already too late, and all that is left is regret.
Eventually you learn that you should not regret about the past, but that does not make it any easier nor does it change the truth…. at times it is the brutal truth.  So you try to “move on” but in reality it has cut too deep, the wound is constantly bleeding, and even if it stops the scars never actually truly fade. No matter what, it is still there. It’s often in the greatest tragedy that we remember because it haunts and scars us the deepest and most.


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