Short Story – Can you understand?

So it goes like this:

“Being around you had given me something that I had never had before. An identity, to feel like I comfortably belonged somewhere. It provided me with a new-found strength and confident. I was happy. I relied on you. You started to play a massive part in my life. So much so that as time went by your influence started to take over what little I had within me. This change happened without me realizing it at all. It broke down all my walls. I had not noticed I had become so vulnerable but I was by now too absorbed with you. Our thoughts and speech had combined. Through you I had become stronger, you gave me light, light that I had never seen before in my empty life before you. You caused my peak to reach levels that even I did not know existed. These were the most fulfilled parts of my life, now a part of me really wish in the future something will be able to live up to and give me more. But I cannot see this.

loose

No one had ever got/knew/understood me at that exact level until you came along. It was great. But unknowingly to me this was all about to change. This realization that now dawned on us. We had created a bond that was so significant that it was also destructive. I don’t know if this is true or right or if you are better at pretending than me but you started to pull away with ease. Maybe self protection mechanism or it never meant that much to you?

stopped

You was always stronger than me. Your foundation, belief, inner strength, outweighed mine, maybe because of those you were able to use them to pull away from this bond. Or something you had enabled you to do so without really looking back. Each pull you had ripped away a part of me each time. As more and more of me shattered it bought down so much more within me, my feelings, my views, my hope, my belief, my aims, my purposes, they all seem to collapse along with the bond. You had not realized the destruction left shattered on the ground. Now I understand, how someone can be in so much pain, that they no longer have emotions, words don’t come out and there is barely any facial expressions, because this has become part of my life. I struggle to stand and live on. There are now only a small hand full of places I find salvation – a little bit of peace.

onestory

teardrop

I am trying to get myself to stand back up, to re-build but I honestly do not know how. I guess you gave me so much but you also took away and if anything much more than I could bear.

(credit to fadedroxy site where gif was <-located)

missing

I have become more unsure about myself, about life, I am a lost girl, the footsteps become more faint and aimless.

It has now come to a point where it is suffocating me from within to out. Eating me, engulfing me into the darkness. I am going deeper and deeper into the dark, and hence letting go of a lot of things, as the grip pulls me in and my grip on other stuff is tugged away. I let go, not because I don’t care. It’s because I care too much and it is not all the same around.

It hurts me, every time we are together…but it hurts equally the same when I am not with you. So tell me what I should do?”

ipromise

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