Is it out there?

It’s hard to move away when so much I have ever felt and known has been empty and hollow. For most of my life I have felt incomplete and that I have never belonged anywhere, I have tried, tried so hard but still no.
There is a known fact that first you need to be comfortable with yourself before you can live properly.
However I think I have been far too comfortable with myself, that I can be in my own company for a long time and I’m really use to it. I like the sheltered life that my mind has created for me.
The outside world is too threatening and unhappy, people backstabbing each other, the wars, the politics, everything is made so much more complex when so many people are added into the equation, they step on each other to protect themselves, when money speaks louder than what really matters in life. This is why I like living in my isolation, in my sleep its my salvation. In my mind there is hope.
When thrown into the world outside and people are involved, it becomes unfriendly, brutal, complex, I severely dislike this all. It hurts me so much.
I find comfort in the night because there are barely any people around, its calm and peaceful…

Maybe eventually I will truly find a place where I belong, one can only hope and pray it is possible and near.


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