Closed book

I rather be a closed book, than a open book.

..

.

At the beginning of the story this did seem to be more interesting, providing greater mystery.

However as the story developed, keeping a lot within became harder. It developed into a problematic issue.

For me:

Typing seems much easier than saying.

and it’s much easier to feel than to express.

“If I don’t wirte to empty my mind, I go mad” – Lord Byron.

Wrong or right? Who knows?

But then the the feeling grew too great and so did the pain it accumulated and got so much that I could barely feel alive.

And then the pain within became so much that I just wanted the pain from outside to be greater than that of within so that I could not feel the pain from within anymore, and so everything became so numbing.

The only way to feel anything was to go out and stand in the cold…Brutally cold, but refreshing and necessary.

The birds were singing, the light was bright, everything around seemed so clear yet I felt so blank. The only thing I felt, was that I wish I could close the book forever………..



Life can at time’s seems like a book, because the further you get into it, the more details emerge and the more things can come together and seemingly make more sense. Life has many chapters for us.  Yet life is not exactly like a book, you cannot rip memories, pains, people, experiences out like they are just pages. Because once parts of life is written down, it’s there forever. It becomes your past and your present whether you like it or not, there is no eraser or tipex.  You just have to continue living/writing/typing onwards till the book finally closes, but you will not know the ending till the very end. You cannot start on the next chapter in life if you are still on the previous page or chapters. Observe and act on those pages then leave them behind. Remembering that one or two bad chapters doesn’t mean that it’s the end of the story. And you know you have to keep going, keep writing, keep typing, keep living to find out what will happen next……………………………………………………………………………….

Your life, is your own book, you are the author, write it the way you want, reveal it if you want, keep it closed if you want. It’s down to you………………………………………………………………………….

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