Love, Pain, Distance, Emotions, Together

I woke up this morning, before the alarm rang.

I suddenly felt a sense of massive hollowness. A sense of pointlessness, emptiness.

My mind flickered with thoughts of you. How it felt like I need you so much more than you need me. How I have reached out to you far too often, yet you seem not to care much.

It seems like from somewhere an invisible distance had been created between us.

I feel as if I am slowly loosing some parts of you. I still have so much love for you, yet sometimes this becomes pain for me. However I rather endure the pain than to live without you in my life. There are so many days where I suffer, wondering how you mean so much to me, how so many moments during a day you enter and stay in my mind. Yet at times I wonder if you feel the same?

Emotions carry us around at times, we are left at the mercy of it. At times unable to control our brain because our heart has a greater power over all.

Around you I still become nervous,

my heart and mind still races ahead in your presence.

I become overwhelm,

at times this causes me to not know what to say.

I withdraw a little,

hoping you will reach out.

It hurts when you don’t.

Love can lift us so high up at times.

Yet it can drop us so low

I look up at the sky every night. I glaze up at the stars. Wish upon a star that one day I can be complete.

Lyrics: Elvis Presely: Are you lonesome tonight:

Are you lonesome tonight
do you miss me tonight
Are you sorry we drifted apart
Does your memory stray to a bright sunny day
When I kissed you and called you sweetheart
Do the chairs in your parlor seem empty and bare
Do you gaze at your doorstep and picture me there
Is your heart filled with pain, shall I come back again
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight

I wonder if you’re lonesome tonight
You know someone said that the world’s a stage
And each must play a part
Fate had me playing in love you as my sweet heart
Act one was when we met, I loved you at first glance
You read your line so cleverly and never missed a cue
Then came act two, you seemed to change and you acted strange
And why I’ll never know
Honey, you lied when you said you loved me
And I had no cause to doubt you
But I’d rather go on hearing your lies
Than go on living without you
Now the stage is bare and I’m standing there
With emptiness all around
And if you won’t come back to me
Then they can bring the curtain down

Is your heart filled with pain, shall I come back again
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight

I have forgotten what it’s like to be “normal.”

To feel without pain.

To love with return.

At night when I am asleep, I dream that I am waiting for you by the shore.

It gets cold.

I stand alone.


And finally you appear,

we were apart but the wait was worth it.

With you by my side,

everything seems great.

My life is complete once again.

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