State of Mind + State of Heart = State of Life.

*Pondering thoughts*

((Semi stemming from reading news about Alexander Mcqueen)) [may he R.I.P]

So I think regardless of who you are, two very important essence in life are “state of mind” and “state of heart” if both these crumble then in turn this will severely affect your state of life.

Majority of us have rational thoughts, our minds are made to think in a calm and rational way! But the thing is the state of mind is a very important part of us. Irrational thinking, can change everything, it can cause us to do things that seem strange or wrong!

Lets take a more indepth look into these:

Firstly state of mind, if your state of mind falls into despair, depression and you feel as if there is no way you can escape from this, then you could be in trouble. The mind is so powerful, at times you feel you can’t even control the thoughts that flow through, and you wonder how such thoughts can enter, and you even shock yourself as to why you’re even thinking about certain things.

Adding to this mix, if your heart is hurt, broken, shattered, and you feel as if the pain will never heal or go away. The combination of shattered state of mind and state of heart could directly affect the state of your life. The feeling and thought of never being about to bounce back, recover and escape from all these states can lead you to a tragic end…………………..

Honestly speaking, have I ever thought of ending my life. I’m not proud to say this but the answer to this is yes. And it pain’s me to say the thought went very far into the process. Thinking about it intensely left me imaging and feeling the pain and heartache it would bring to all those that I love and love me. And it hurt a lot. Yet when your state of mind is so strong against living, the hurt at times does not seem enough to stop you from going ahead. You end up withdrawing from the world, I sank deeply, it felt like you go into a different world, where no one can help you, and there is just you left.

I went through 1-2 weeks of very dark moments, which felt like a lifetime. I withdrew as much as I could without raising too much suspicion, I stopped returning calls and texts. I enclosed myself in my dorm, to the extent that people did not even realised I was in my room. Sat in the dark, cropped in the corner, slept for ages.

My mind was causing me a lot of pain, it was taking me to places I did not want to go, but at the same time some of the places were places I needed to go to. I needed to imagine and feel the pain that my actions may cause. So if for any reason you may be thinking of ending your life, take a moment to imagine the process, how painful it would be on your love ones, how there are less fortunate  people in this world yet they still fight to live on, how life is precious.

In the end…………..

There could only be two outcomes.

1. you continue to sink, till it ends.


2. you somehow pull yourself out.

As much as it would be ground-breaking to say this blog is coming from a different land or a world far far away out of this universe, lol. I am writing this blog from Earth so of course the worse did not happen and I did indeed pulled myself out. With the help of two things:

1. Having faith in God.

2. strength from within.

Yes I know this post does seem quite bleak and dark. It will brighten up.

So my mind was what got me into the mess in the first place, but at the same time it was my mind that allowed me to get out. Mind control can be so powerful at times.

Obviously it’s not always so bleak, because people generally have hidden strength, whereby at low points in life, human beings have abilities which we don’t normally use/see. When pushed to the limit we have within us natural abilities that pushes us to release greater strength to cope, in order to survive. This is why we often do hear about individuals who  at extreme cases still somehow manage to survive. As our body releases greater strength than we normally use during day-to-day life.

Remember: You have to live life, to understand and see life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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