Nothing is Certain……….

Within this week, I have experience once again of life’s uncertainty…….

I had one day on Sunday where I felt on top of the moon, everything seemed to run smoothly. I had a great time with a few of my close friends.

But the next day, my world seemed to shatter around me, events out of my control, threatened to ruin so much that I had planned in advance, the impact would have been undescrible-able. I found myself falling, my unhappiness, caused me to “shut down” in other words, I did not want to talk to anyone, I did not care, I found it very hard to smile and socialize. I was left thinking 24 hours ago I felt great, but now it felt like the complete opposite. It was strange I could not control my mood. People at work could tell there was something wrong  with me. I was not my bubbly self.I hate this “me” yet I could not seem to get rid of it…

All this time I thought I was someone who could easily hide my feelings, but today I was reminded that may not be the case.. Well loosely speaking on many other levels I do hide my feelings quite well, but not all the times..

Today my world seem to be a bit better,still a tad worried about certain things that may still happen. I must admit I do hate uncertainty and not feeling of not knowing, because you feel so powerless. I guess most people feel this too.

No one is immune from death, one minute we could be doing something next minute our whole life can change. If you die in 5 minutes time, would you have regrets?
I guess I would, because certain things I would liked to have done, but because Im scared of the results and consequences of it after. Because we are trained to think into the future, even though we might not have a future, but we always think about the consequences of our actions, and how it will impact us later, which hinder actions in the present.
No one knows when and how their life would end.

I guess if I do suddenly die one day… so much will die with me, so many secrets, some many of my feelings, thoughts, I dont know whether this will be a good thing or a bad thing…………………………..

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